


Birthdays, Theft, and Kisses

by widdlewed



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Animals, Explosions, M/M, Out of Character Hibari Kyouya, mention of sex workers, stealing animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:18:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/widdlewed/pseuds/widdlewed
Summary: Tsuna needs to get Xanxus and Reborn presents for their birthdays. Nothing is ever easy when his Guardians are involved. A short silly one-shot to celebrate 3 October birthdays!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Xanxus! Happy Birthday Reborn! Happy Birthday Tsuna! 
> 
> ..... happy birthday Bird, you creepy ass side-character who is only remembered for the introduction of Hibird. 
> 
> This is very short, very silly, and just written for my own indulgence. I hope you enjoy?

It started with an idea and plummeted downwards from there.

 

“I want to get them a gift,” Tsuna declared one day during the early morning as a maid poured milk into his glass.

 

“Who?” Hayato questioned as he stabbed violently into his eggs. Takeshi, stirring his chocolate syrup into his milk, looked up in curiosity. 

 

“Reborn and Xanxus. For their birthdays. They’re next week,” Tsuna explained as he motioned for the maid to stop fussing over his breakfast. He was twenty one - he could cut his own ham up!

 

“Oya? Is it that time of the year already?” Mukuro laughed as he scooped up a bite of his hard boiled egg. “How time flies.”

 

“Uhuh. Last year’s gift didn’t go so well soooooo,” Tsuna made jazz hands, as if that explained everything.

 

“Tsuna,” Takeshi deadpanned, “you purchased three hours of a team of female sex workers to pop out of a cake and dance on them. When did you think that’d be a good idea?”

 

“AH,” Chrome coughed into her crepe. “That was...something. I think Lambo learned everything he had to know about the female body that night, didn’t he?” The female of the group turned to Lambo, who was dangerously close to face-planting into his chocolate-chip pancakes as he snored loudly. 

 

“I don’t EXTREMELY understand what it is about these two that you have such trouble picking EXTREME gifts out for, Sawada. You give EXTREME gifts….just not for Reborn and Xanxus.” Ryohei set his newspaper down, frowning in concentration as Tsuna shrugged. Tsuna stabbed into his sausage and nibbled on it as he glanced at Kyouya for insight. 

 

“...fight them,” Kyouya spoke in ways of an reasonable gift. Then again, that was his suggestion for anything. 

 

“Maybe later. I dunno, maybe I should just...get them... _ clothes _ ? They’d like clothes, right?” Tsuna turned to Hayato, who coughed into his coffee mug. 

 

“Jyuudaime, please.  _ No _ . The last time you got Reborn clothes, you ended up somehow buying him the complete costume set of Strawberry Shortcake. And you bought Xanxus a glowing hat. A  _ glowing hat.  _ No clothes, please. No clothes,” Hayato begged. Tsuna huffed and sunk low in his plush chair. 

 

“...to the drawing board it is,” Tsuna mumbled to himself and scooted back from the dining table. He waved off the maids and left the room, the Guardians looking to each other in worry (minus Lambo and Kyouya) before they quickly followed. 

 

* * *

 

Tsuna walked down the bustling streets of a small city in Italy, blending in with crowds of tourists as he walked. Wearing sunglasses, a sun visor, a obnoxiously bright orange shirt reading  **I love Italy!** , polka-dot printed shorts, a fanny pack, and mountain climbing boots, Tsuna looked like a hot mess. Thankfully, so did most of the tourists snapping pictures while ignoring each other’s sunburns so it worked out perfectly. 

 

“Hmmm?” Tsuna peered in through the glass of a tiny trinket shop. “Maybe Reborn would like a -ah, nope. I got him that pocket watch three years ago. It somehow exploded the moment he touched it. Xanxus still uses his though, right? So no for him as well. Huh. Oooh, what’s that?” Tsuna trailed away from the trinket shop, walking further down the street to a small window store that sold hand-made dolls. 

 

Following about ten paces behind him were the Guardians, all decked out in scarves, sunglasses, and hats to cover them from the sun’s rays. Besides Kyouya, who lingered around a animal shop, the rest of the Guardians stalked after their Boss, inwardly dreading the excitement crossing their beloved Boss’s face. 

 

“Is...is he looking at those ugly dolls?” Chrome whispered in worry, her eyebrows knitting as Tsuna turned a doll around in his hands. 

 

“Jyuudaime,” Hayato gurgled in physical pain, “ _ no _ .” 

 

“Haha, Tsuna sure has really bad taste, huh?” Takeshi laughed into Hayato’s shoulder. 

 

“No, just with Reborn and Xanxus. I don’t understand why,” Hayato snapped back, elbowing Takeshi away from him. 

 

“That is EXTREMELY weird,” Ryohei forced out as quietly as possible. Mukuro, who had realized Kyouya had disappeared into the tiny animal shop, had followed. Chrome, realizing the two were gone, disappeared after. 

 

“Can we,” Lambo yawned, “get ice cream?” 

 

“Sure,” Tsuna spoke from behind the group and they whirled, eyes wide as they realized somehow Tsuna had snuck up behind them. “But only after you help me find a birthday gift for them? Also - where’s Kyouya, Mukuro, and Chrome?” 

 

An explosion from the animal shop answered Tsuna and he slowly turned, catching sight of Kyouya rushing from the smoking building, his arms filled with cats and tiny bunnies. Flocking him were Chrome and Mukuro, each carrying their own weight in animals. 

 

Tsuna dragged out a sigh. This was going to be a long day. 

 

* * *

 

 

“So besides the fact that Kyouya, Mukuro, and Chrome  _ kidnapped  _ a whole lot of animals and caused thousands in property damages, this day is actually going pretty good, I think I can say,” Tsuna spoke as they walked down the street, Tsuna swinging Lambo’s hand in his. Hayato muttered curses under his breath as he calculated the damages on his trusty notepad, Takeshi snickering beside him. Ryohei laughed loudly and Lambo repeatedly demanded for ice cream. 

 

“Hey! You think Xanxus would like that?” Tsuna exclaimed, pointing at a window of a shop. On display was a stuffed animal that looked almost identical to Bester, Xanxus’s box-weapon from that failed future. 

 

“...That...actually isn’t that bad,” Takeshi blinked. “Good job Tsuna!” Tsuna beamed and bustled into the store, leaving his Guardians. 

 

“...Tsuna does realize that his birthday is next week too, right?” Takeshi asked with a worried smile. 

 

“No, definitely not. Jyuudaime forgets that every. Single. Year,” Hayato gritted out, as if it pained him to admit that his Boss was a airhead in that particular event. 

 

“It’ll be EXTREMELY fun to see his face when we throw his surprise party!” Ryohei huffed. 

 

“Tsu-nii is a idiot when it comes to this kinda stuff,” Lambo rolled his eyes with a smile. “But that’s what makes him so cute.” 

 

“Aaaaw, did ya hear that?” Takeshi teased. “Our little Lambo thinks Tsuna is cute!” 

 

“Idiot!” Hayato snapped. “Of course Jyuudaime is cute!”

 

“Thank you,” Tsuna popped up beside Hayato with a smile. “I try my best.” Hayato gave a soundless shriek as the rest of the Guardians stiffened. They absolutely hated how Tsuna could sneak up on them without any effort.

 

“Now,” Tsuna hugged Xanxus’s wrapped gift to his chest, “to find Reborn a gift!”

 

* * *

 

 

Tsuna had no luck in finding Reborn a gift that day. 

 

Between Lambo wanting ice cream, Takeshi getting side-tracked by a robot that threw baseballs at you, Hayato recording more property damages when Takeshi decided to play with the robot, and Ryohei getting into a fight with a bear (why there was a bear in the middle of the streets of Italy Tsuna would never know), there was barely any time to find a gift for the Number One Hitman. 

 

So, Tsuna just decided to wing it. He threw all plans out the window and waited. 

 

On the day of Xanxus’s birthday, Tsuna presented the stuffed animal to Xanxus. Xanxus, positioned behind a bomb-shield, made Levi grab the package.

 

Levi cautiously grabbed the wrapped package, inspecting it. Hearing no ominous ticking or smelling any strange odors, he handed it to his Boss. Xanxus shredded the paper off the stuffed toy, staring down at the white and black liger. 

 

“See! I knew he’d like it!” Tsuna exclaimed aloud to himself as Xanxus continued to stare at the present. 

 

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Xanxus exploded, guns blazing. Ducking under a flaming bullet, Tsuna laughed as he rushed out of the room. The door slammed on Xanxus shaking the stuffed animal viciously in his grip. 

 

“Now I just have to get Reborn something,” Tsuna mused to himself as he walked down the hallway, his hands clasped behind his back. “I got three days. More than enough time.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“Reborn!” Tsuna hugged the man around the waist. “Happy birthday! Your present is-! Anything! Anything you want, I will give it to you!” 

 

Tsuna thought this was a perfect plan. Tsuna thought this was the best idea he had ever come up with. Tsuna thought-

 

He was going to die. 

 

“Oh?” Reborn tipped his hat up as he stared down at the adult still clinging to him. “Anything I want? Wait, there aren’t any strippers hiding, are there?” Suddenly cautious, Reborn swept is eyes around his bedroom. 

 

“No, no strippers. I’m still sorry about that - but yeah! Anything you want! My birthday gift from me to you!” Tsuna was all sunshine as he smiled widely at Reborn. 

 

“Okay then. I’ll take my gift then.” Tsuna blinked as Reborn was suddenly in his face, lips ghosting over Tsuna’s. A hum and soft lips were pressing against slightly chapped ones. Reborn’s arms circled around Tsuna’s waist, holding him to his chest as Tsuna splayed his hands flat against Reborn’s shoulders. A moist tongue swept across Tsuna’s lips and Tsuna opened his lips obediently. Reborn gave a low growl in his throat as he swiped his tongue along the roof of Tsuna’s mouth, tasting coffee cake. Tsuna’s eyes twinkled as he kept eye contact with Reborn, who smirked against his lips.

 

Reborn drew away, a trail of saliva bridging between the two as he leaned to his full height. 

 

“Thanks,” Reborn spoke as he dragged a thumb along Tsuna’s bottom lip. “What a nice birthday present. No naked females either.” 

 

“Seriously, stop bringing that up, I said I was sorry,” Tsuna pouted as Reborn chuckled, pulling him in for another kiss. 

 

* * *

 

 

Meanwhile, in the northern part of the mansion, Kyouya, Mukuro, and Chrome were lounging in their make-shift lodging for the animals they stole. Chrome was sprawled along a nest of cats who were purring against her. She was knocked out, breathing lightly with a smile on her slumbering face. 

 

Mukuro was making kissing noises to a hedgehog in his hands, a snake wrapped loosely around his neck. A chihuahua was curled in his lap and a sloth was hanging off his bent arm. 

 

Kyouya was barely visible under the hoard of birds and bunnies dog-piling him. 

 

Hayato, who had stumbled upon the freakshow, slowly backed out of the room without a word. 

 

Time to write up pet supplies finances. 

 

* * *

 

 

**BONUS: Tsuna's Birthday**

 

Tsuna face-planted into the dining room as he burst through the doors. The Guardians, Reborn, and the Varia hushed at the table as Tsuna crawled towards his chair and up into it. He smashed face first into the table and laid there, his snores sounding as he stayed still. 

 

"Jyu-Jyuudime, wake-wake up!" Hayato cried out as Takeshi slapped a hand against the table, laughing loudly. Tears prickled at the corner of his eyes and Reborn sighed through his nose, shaking his head. 

 

"Haha! What a great start of your birthday, huh Tsuna?" Takeshi laughed as Lambo followed Tsuna's example and fell asleep at the table. Ryohei roared, "EXTREME SLEEPING CONTEST" and bashed his fist into his head, knocking himself out. He fell to the ground in a heap.

 

No one batted an eyelash at him. 

 

"Wha-? Birthday?" Tsuna jerked up with a start, drool running down his chin. "I got everyone's birthday gifts already though!" 

 

"Boss," Chrome sighed as she stroked her crows's chest feathers, "it's  _your_ birthday." 

 

"...what?" Tsuna blanked. 

 

"Kufufuf," Mukuro laughed as he rubbed his fox's head, "he can't ever remember his own birthday." 

 

"Trash," Xanxus rolled his eyes with a grunt. "Your presents are in your office. Now eat, idiot." 

 

"...oh yeah, I guess it is my birthday," Tsuna laughed, flushing.

**Author's Note:**

> Really silly. If you are familiar with my writing, you were probably expecting it. 
> 
> I legit believe that Kyouya, Chrome, and Mukuro would steal animals if given the motive/distraction. Tsuna busy trying to get birthday presents? Perfect.


End file.
